Charity of Night

Someone recently said that around the time of All Hallow's Eve and All Saints and Souls Days, there is a thinness in the spiritual realm, meaning that we often feel the spiritual forces of good and evil more around this time. Perhaps this is just hocus pocus talk, but there are people all around me who are struggling with spiritual warfare which I believe to be a real thing that the Christian faces.

I've felt this thinness in my own life. It seems that the more devoted I become to Christ, the more the forces are up. I don't mean this to tout my own horn or anything. I've just noticed these things since I have been living in Camino house. Prayer and Scripture have become the shaping markers of my day, something that played a role, yes, but now in a different way. Most mornings (I admit to sleeping in more lately) we start our day together in prayer, we stop our busy lives at 1pm invoking the prayers of St Francis, the beautitudes and the Fruits of the Spirit to remind ourselves of who we are called to be in the midst of our day, and then we end our evenings in quiet and reflection, laying to rest our days before the foot of the cross. Recently, I have discovered that in order to make corporate prayer and Bible reading a part of my life, I have sacrificed the rich times of personal devotion. So lately I have tried to renew that. And as I have, I feel the thinness - I feel the forces at work to bring me down, to tear me apart and to discourage me.

But it is not all a dark night. There are rich moments in the thinness - of closeness to God and comfort of his loving touch. I was writing a reflection the other day that reminded me of Kiekegaard who wrote that we must cling closely to our Teacher. I used to have that on a sign on my door of my last apartment. I had a really rough night last night. Again, I believe is part of the thinness of this time. And I woke in pain and struggle, and those words of Kierkegaard were strong - I need to cling to my Maker, my Father, my Counsellor. I delved into my study of Philippians and the commentary wrote: "Paul's doctrine taught him that a sovereign God rules all things [...] Paul's practice was to accept without question what the Lord had ordained" (Moyter). I felt that that word was written for me in this moment of my life, a reminder that God is sovereign and that I need to accept without question what God has ordained for my life.

Then there was a time during the service where we celebrated the saints who have gone before us and walk alongside us. Thinness was felt as I felt God's presence in a very real way.

So whether this is all hocus pocus or not, there is thinness in the spiritual realm for me lately. There is light in the darkness, and charity in the night.

Wave on wave of life/ Like the great wide ocean's roll/ Haunting hands of memory? Pluck silver strands of soul/ The damage and the dying done/ The clarity of light/ Gentle bows and glasses raised/ to the charity of night. Bruce Cockburn, The Charity of Night.