December is here and already at the tower I have "celebrated" Christmas more than I have over the past 5 years! Everyday is Christmas in December for the seniors. Christmas carols. Christmas decorating. Christmas stories. Christmas celebrations. I think I've faired pretty well so far for a bah humbug, but I am already grumbling now about Christmas. And it's only December the 3rd!
Christmas is a pretty tough time of year for me. My darkest days usually come in a couple of weeks. I grit and bear the time to get through and then after Christmas is difficult for me. The number of people in my life who also don't have family that they are spending Christmas with is growing, so this year I don't feel so alone. But still - everyone seems to be with family and happy at this time of year. And my Christmas misery seems to be estranged from the time that this is supposed to be. It is a time of year I dread. This is my battleground. It is the time of year that I have to fight the hardest.
To be honest, I'm starting to get a bit anxious about the coming holidays. I'm pretty swamped in my new job, and while I enjoy it, it is most definitely NOT stressfree. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I'm running around getting the millions of boxes of decorations and every body needs to talk to me, or needs me to do something. Few offer to help. The place is about to go through some pretty big changes in a few weeks and I'm not sure how much stress that will add to my plate. There is a lot of good in my life, but this is a fight that gets harder and more intense at this time of year. The fight is long and hard, and often lonely as it is a fight that only I can really fight.
But this is my battleground and the war is raging. And so I must fight.
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