In moments like these

I haven't been feeling physically well the past couple of days and emotionally things are actually pretty tough. I don't like to talk about that too much, but while I try to put on a good and strong appearance, inside I'm feeling pretty sad. Sometimes I wonder why I was hired on as Program Director at this time in my life... whether I can really be strong enough for this position. Or whether I am good enough.

But then there are moments...moments when I am convinced that I am right where God wants me to be.

We had a brass band come in the other day, and I took one of the poor old ladies who is very confused (She calls me Mary, and while that is very far from my name, I don't bother to correct her) down to the performance. As we walked to the auditorium, she burst into a big smile at the sound of the band warming up and squeeled "Oh Mary, you make me so happy!"

And then I pass by a man whose wife is in the hospital and he doesn't speak much English. But I hugged him and that said more than i think any word in English or his language could have spoken to him.

And then today, I played the piano on the assisted living floor. Perhaps I have mentioned that floor before - a dreadful floor where residents stare at the walls all day. I can't sit in my office for long. I can't imagine being in a wheelchair, wheeled to one corner of a room and sitting there day after day after day. So my first mission has been to bring some laughter and life onto that floor. Today there was much laughter and life as we crowded into this small room with a terribly out of tune piano and sang Christmas carols. Even the Portuguese ladies were singing their hearts out or humming to the tune. And at the end of every song, there were smiles so big on everyone's faces as they clapped their approval.

There are many moments of pain and sadness in my life right now. But there are moments that make me smile, such as these. And in moments like these, I am reminded that this is where God wants me to be.