Part of Something Beautiful

I was introduced to Alexi Murdoch at a church service that I went to on Sunday. I'm possibly joining a "Fresh Expression of Church" monastic community movement. I'm quite excited about this. They have an intentional community living arrangement that I am hoping to be able to join. Anyways, I went with a friend to check out the service and see what this community is like. The worship team offered Murdoch's "Orange Sky" as a reflection piece in the second half of the service. So today I was looking around youtube for some of his other songs and came across "Something Beautiful".

I am trying to discern where God wants me. I have been applying to jobs as they come up and handing in my resume to any place that I can think of. No bites so far which is honestly rather frustrating and confusing. I am trying to trust that God will provide something, but in my heart of hearts I wish that he would provide that something *now*. I'm looking into possibly going back to school this fall and seeing if that is an option given that I have a few hurdles to overcome first. I heard this song this morning and it resonated with my heart at this time in my life.

May the Grace of God be with you always, in your heart

May you know the truth inside you from the start

May you find the strength to know that you are a

Part of something beautiful

That's it - I want to be part of something beautiful. I long to be part of something big. I watch and envy others who from the outside seem to have it all together - they appear to be a part of something bigger. I was convicted on Sunday that I am full of envy and jealousy for a life that is not mine. But I really think that a yearning to be part of something beautiful is at the heart. I am privileged to have my days relatively simple. A typical day for me is full of reading, writing and prayer mingled with a few chores and a walk and perhaps a coffee with a friend. There are some days that I get to help out a friend and I feel valued and like I am contributing to the world. That I am part of something beautiful. Today I had an idea that I could start volunteering places so that I could gain experience during this time of transition but also that I could give something to the world around me. Again, to be part of something beautiful.

This song made me think - if I am at a place in my life where God has led me, then I am already part of something beautiful even if I don't feel it. Perhaps God is leading me on to a new path of volunteering or school or work. But right now, right here, I am part of something beautiful. I get to spend time with God in a relaxed and uninterrupted way. I can pray for my friends and family without rushing. I am available to help people around me as needed. Maybe this is small. But it still is beautiful. What a reassuring thought - to know that I am already part of something beautiful.

So may I (we) find the strength to know that I am (we are) part of something beautiful.