Courage

The past few days have been a bit more of a challenge for me than I had expected. Living a sheltered life for the past 3 months is quite different than going home to a messy, dirty and water damaged apartment on my own. I've been discouraged with all that I have felt at home and the sense of overwhelmed that crept up on me seemingly out of nowhere. This morning I had wondered if this is my thorn in my side that, like Paul, I have asked to be removed but for whatever reason, God has not removed it. I tried to find the verse that speaks to this, but I couldn't so I grant that I might be totally taking this out of context. My doctor here spent a lot of time with me today talking about my successes, and not just my failures. He says I focus on my failures too much and don't notice all the steps I've taken. I think we hear words in two different ways. I heard what he said, and it makes sense and I remember what he said. But I don't think I really heard it or took it in until tonight (and I am not even sure if I have fully heard it yet).

One of my new friends shared a quote with me. I can't remember the words completely. But it goes something like this: Courage is when you say "I will try again tomorrow".

I think this journey to recovery may be a little more rocky than I had anticipated. There will be times, like the past couple of weeks, when I feel great, elated, wonderful. And then there will be times, like the past couple of days, when I will feel discouraged and down. I will cope some days well, and others that I fall back on old patters. Like my doctor said, the hope and goal is that the good days will increase and the bad coping days will decrease.

But I am going to try to end my days not with a recounting of my failures, but rather a statement of my courage, that tomorrow, I will try again