When you least expect it

The other day, one of the social workers at the hospital commented to me that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It has been a long haul - 3 months! The staff here are genuinely happy and rejoicing over my improvements. Discussions have begun regarding discharge plans!

I sat in my hospital room thinking about my family and longing to hear from them. I began to wonder if perhaps time must pass before anything significant can happen. Perhaps this would be like my hospital stay where it seems like an eternity in the process, but in reality and upon reflection, time passed quickly. Perhaps I will look back and see how God used the time so perfectly to prepare me and all those involved. I debated again whether contact should be a goal or even a hope at this point and had decided that I need to focus right now on getting well. Peace followed this decision and I shifted my thinking to what I need to do to continue the healing process.

Healing seems like a full time job at times. There are many follow up appointments and groups for me to attend. As I planned, I felt both a sense of excitement and of anger. Excitement because healing seems possible when appropriate steps are taken. Anger because these steps have become necessary because of another person's actions.

Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. A friend showed up at the hospital with a hot chocolate on a night that I expected to not have any visitors. A five dollar bill is found in the pocket of winter jacket. This is one of those times.

I received an email that was completely out of the blue and the last thing I expected. The details of this email I'm not able to share on this blog, however, suffice it to say that after a lot of time thinking about it, I can say that I find hope in knowing that God is in fact at work. So often it feels like there is no movement and yet this was a huge leap that I had no control over and had not expected. God does work with time and I can surrender all this to him and trust that he will work in His time to bring about His will.

Reminds me of a U2 song:
At the moment of surrender/ I'm falling to my knees/ I did not notice the passers by /And they did not notice me/ [...] I was pushing in the numbers/ At the ATM machine/ I could see in the reflection/ A face staring back at me/ At the moment of surrender/ A vision over visibility/ I did not notice the passers by/ and they did not notice me.


As we move on, trusting God with our lives - as we surrender - he continues to work and we see His reflection staring back at us.